I am reclaiming my first name after being called Airman, Sergeant, and Brandon's mom for the past 18 to 20 years.
Published on February 6, 2005 By Just Paula In Religion
This morning at church something very unusual happened to me. Before I begin though, if you haven't read about the purpose of my blog, then I should tell you that I just recently became a full blown Christian and one purpose of this blog is to document my spiritual journey. Prior to my new faith in God, I was probably Agnostic...maybe he exists or maybe he doesn't...I had no idea. Some days I would see something terrible in the news and think that there is no way God could exist and allow that to happen and other times, something wonderful would be happen that no one could explain or I would some how or another I would just barely make it and I felt it was God's Grace. I was never turned on about going to church either. I went to several as a youth and a couple as an adult and I just never felt that I belonged or to be honest, I never felt any spiritual connection at any church I attended in my past. I am sure most of it was my fault but for whatever reason, it's the truth.

Now I attend a small (about 200) Pentecostal church about 20 minutes from my house. I don't think of myself as a Pentecostal though because I hate putting a label on myself or putting myself in a box. Pentecostals believe in speaking in tongues and shouting and jumping and running around the church and playing tambourines and other stuff that no other church I ever been to did. I love it. If I can go to a football game and jump up and down and shout and get all goofy for my team, then why would I not do the same for God. Anyway, I can list scripture (e.g. "Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise." Psalm 98:4) explaining why Pentecostals let loose in the church but my blog is not to teach or preach...it's just to share MY experience with The Good News. If I feel the need, I will add scripture. Right now I don't. Right now I am feeling the spiritual side of God, and if you don't have the spiritual side, then quoting the bible all day long is not going do anything and I hate scripture wars on blogs.

My experience today involved this young girl who occasionally comes to our church with her grandparents. The girl is 14 years old and is into self-mutilation, drugs, sex, and other self-hate type of behaviour. She is also into witchcraft (not Wiccan, more of a satanic nature) How do I know? Because she told me. I had spoken to her at church a couple of times and gave her my number telling her to call me if she ever needed to talk. She has done so and still does. She is seeking professional help. All I can offer her is my friendship. She tells me things that even with my experience (like being stationed in the Philippines) shock me, but I don't let her know because I think she tells me stuff to see if I will stop being her friend. I won't.

I rarely see her as she lives in another town and she never knows when she can come to church so when she does, I am usually surprised. Today she came but her family came late and she didn't see me. During the service, she went up to the altar and asked for prayer. I felt moved, so I went up to pray with her. I have gone up to the altar in the past and prayed with people when I felt they needed support. (For me, going up to before a whole church is pretty brave.) I usually pray quietly though. Not today. Today I felt a huge burden. I knew what this girl was going through and I wanted to help her in anyway I could. So I said to God that I would just submit to his will and whatever happens, happens. And BANG! I started speaking another language. (I only speak English and I have no idea what language it was.) I was having a full blown conversation but I couldn't stop it nor did I want to. I never thought something like that would happen to me. I felt this intense power and my right hand started shaking uncontrollably. We prayed with this girl for about an hour. Did she change instantaneously or get the Holy Ghost that day? No and it would have been very easy for me to tell you that she did but I will not lie. I experienced a miracle though and she could have too if she was ready. (The Holy Ghost does not force His way...you may think this is odd but you have free will and I know I hate when people try to force their will on me.) By the way the power I felt was not mine, God can use anyone and apparently he even used a donkey, so I do not feel special, I just feel...amazed.








Comments
on Feb 06, 2005
It was very nice of you to go up and pray for this girl. And I think you should try and figure out what language you were speaking
on Feb 07, 2005
Yeah I guess I am a nice person. But it's kind of scary going to the altar especially if you never done stuff like this before. Part of it is about submitting to God's will...something I really need to work on.
on Feb 16, 2005
hey Paula!

Rock on!
i am proud of you and your quest to get closer to God! I can't wait to read more!